Anyway, I'm back from Las Vegas after a short weekend of debauchery. Okay, a short weekend of tame dabbling in debauchery. I speak for myself, Koroshiya, and Sei when I say that today was the worst morning possible to forget the clock changed in our favor. We could have had another hour's sleep, and an hour less in the airport where it turned out our plane home was delayed an hour and a half. Still, the lines were so horrendous that we spent the extra hour waiting to check in, and then waiting to go through security. It would only have been worse as the day went on. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, goes home from Las Vegas on Sunday no matter when they arrive.

Our hotel, quickly dubbed the Flaming O, was acceptable but not lovely. However, it was chosen for location and relative cheapness, so we were satisfied. Also, it had real flamingos which amused me quite a bit. And it was a great location, anchoring one of the famous Four Corners of the Strip, a.k.a. Las Vegas Boulevard South. October is a big convention month in Vegas, and this weekend was no exception. The National Bullriders Association was in town, staying at Caesar's across the street from us, so we saw lots and lots of cowboys during our visit. Also lots and lots of brides, grooms, bachelor and bachelorette parties, drunken people, zombie faced gamblers who never even blinked when they won big, women in skimpy, shiny, how shall I say, under-supported outfits, men in astonishing hairpieces, all the usual kinds of people who frequent casinos and desert towns. We wandered around simply reveling in the too-muchness of it all. Las Vegas is so gloriously over the top it cannot be mistaken for anywhere else in the world.

Neither Koroshiya nor Sei had ever been before, but this was my fourth visit. It's not possible to see it all in one weekend, nor is that wise, so we mainly saw the area stretching from the Bellagio to Treasure Island. That was more than enough to give us aching feet and plenty of exercise. During our brief visit we watched Bellagio's enormous fountain displays (like fireworks done with water), the Mirage's volcano explosion (excellent fireballs), and the exciting battle between pirates and Her Majesty's navy in front of Treasure Island (an entire ship sinks, and a warehouse blows up most satisfyingly). If this sounds at all tame, let me assure you it isn't. It's a marvel of pyrotechnics and staging.

On our first night Sei wanted to vegetate in the room so I took Koroshiya to see the beautiful glass ceiling in the lobby of the Bellagio. She immediately identified it as the work of Dale Chihuly, and she was right. I had not realized it was his, even though I love his art. Of course, I'm not sure I was up to much thinking last time I was at Bellagio -- Shelly and I had been making friends with a bartender over at another casino before attending Cirque du Soleil's "O" which is staged at Bellagio. Anyway, the lobby art is beautiful and disorienting, like suddenly finding yourself surrounded by brilliant, poisonous jellyfish. Here is a link to that installation. Do click on the detail shots, you'll understand why I'm so entranced.

The next day I got up early and went to visit the flamingos. They were surly about their keeper washing off their rocks and feeding stations. She had to spray their feet with the hose to keep them out of the pool while she washed it. I also visited the penguins, the African crowned cranes, the various swans, geese, and exotic ducks, and had a little sit down next to a koi pond. At ten o'clock I decided to buy a Flaming O t-shirt as a souvenir, and found a great design, a surprisingly subtle array of classic Vegas images in a purple and pink montage on black. I brought back an enormous latte to share with Sei, who is even less of a morning person than I am, and forced my roommates to begin the process of getting up. They eventually forgave me. I think it was because I was such a good sport about watching Jerry Springer the night before. Personally, I thought it was an appropriate preparation for the kind of American popular culture we were about to experience

Our first venture out was to the Venetian. We didn't even get that far before I discovered neither of my companions had ever been in Sephora. In we went, and out we came an hour later after surveying the plethora of makeup, perfume and beauty aids. I fell in love with the scent of Amarige, but reluctantly opted not to purchase any because John dislikes strong scents. For the record, Givenchy says of its 1991 perfume, "Amarige's top notes open with a bouquet of mandarin, neroli, violet leaves and rosewood. Heart notes are a blend of fruits (citrus, melons, peaches and plums), gardenia, soft sweet spices, and mimosa, caressed by the base notes of musk, vanilla, tonka bean, woods, and ambergris." I thought it smelled a lot like plumeria, actually. Silly me.

We all bought nail polish and tried on makeup so we were much more Las Vegas-y looking when we finally went next door to the Venetian. Sei and Koroshiya oohed and aahed over the excessiveness of the decor. It has a wonderful opulence, and yet I find it strangely sterile at the same time -- it tries too hard. I hear the rooms there are absolutely gorgeous, but I wouldn't know since you have to have a room key to have access to the guest elevators and I have yet to pay $350 a night in any hotel anywhere, thanks. We enjoyed wandering through the shops, which are of course referred to as shoppes, and had a drink at Zefferino's. The waitress assured us several times she had a "great bartender" which translated to ass-kickingly strong drinks. Her name was Orly, which seemed pretty funny after the first Mai Tai (because, you know, that's a French airport and we were in an Italian hotel, and... oh, never mind). Fresh air seemed like a good idea after that, so we went to see more of the Strip.

We wandered into the Fashion Mall and indulged in another bout of shopping. Koroshiya and Sei scored big at the Gap while I bought myself a beautiful watch at Saks. I have been shopping for a nice watch for months and months, and I got one that will complement my Art Deco bracelet, something that's been very difficult to find in a contemporary watch. Actually, I saw the truly perfect watch in a magazine, a recreation of an Art Deco style with lots of diamonds and a black silk ribbon band, but I didn't happen to have $7,500 to blow on a Fred Leighton.

On our way to the mall we had seen some people carrying tremendously tacky yet strangely compelling glass skull mugs. We asked where they got them and they were from, of course, Treasure Island. So after watching the pirate show we went to the hotel to get ourselves 32 ounces of rather bad strawberry daquiris in skull mugs. Since we were there and starving, we went to the buffet which enabled us to eat all the shrimp and prime rib we could stuff in for $11.95. And then, since we were there and in the mood to gamble after a happy day of walking our feet off, watching stuff blow up, shopping, and eating our body weight in shrimp (me, actually, the others showed restraint), we all decided to play the slots.

I know it's a waste of money to play slot machines, there's no skill in it, but I love them. We played nickels only, there was no way any of us wanted to play at higher levels. I bought a single roll of nickels. I figured I could have my fun for two bucks and not feel bad afterwards when it was all gone. So the first thing I did was put five nickels in an I Dream Of Jeannie slot machine and win $1.25. Woo! I was happy. I cashed out and came back to where Sei and Koroshiya were playing The Price Is Right machines. Sei wasn't winning at all, but Koroshiya was doing pretty well. I sat at one of the machines and tried to figure out how to play it. Koroshiya recommended putting in nine nickels so I could play all nine lines which would give me the maximum options for matches. I put nine nickels in and won 10 credits. Well, at least I won my money back plus one. I played again. This time bells started ringing and lights flashed while Bob Barker's voice congratulated me. I got to spin the big wheel, choose a bunch of price tags, and when that game was over I had won $12. That was a lot of fun for 45 cents.

Sei couldn't seem to win, so we took our buckets and skull mugs and went off to the Mirage to see what it was like. Remember, we had been on our feet all day by this point. We were carrying clothes, mugs, nickels (man, a bucket of nickels weighs a lot), and feeling a bit overstimulated from all the flashing lights and dinging bells; all I could think of was how much fun I was having and how much my feet hurt. Whenever someone wanted my opinion I didn't have one. I was too zombied out. Until, that is, we reached the gigantic bronze faces of Sigfried and Roy and one of their tigers in front of the Mirage. Then nothing would do but to have my photo taken with them in all their blank-eyed, peculiar glory. Koroshiya is going to send it to me so I can make it my desktop. Next time, I swear, I am going to their show. They embody Las Vegas for me.

We continued playing the slots, wandering to other casinos, and drinking Black Russians (that is, I had one Black Russian, bringing my alcohol total for the day to two drinks plus some sips of bad strawberry daquiri, so my claim to debauchery is truly slim). I won more, lost half of it, and cashed out for the evening with $14. Koroshiya let me play some of her nickels at Caesar's to compensate for keeping me up when I was clearly falling over with weariness. I didn't win anything. She, however, sat down at a Jeopardy machine and immediately hit Double Jeopardy, winning some ridiculous amount with just one try. Sei, deeply jealous of Koroshiya's game show host luck, insisted on giving Bob Barker and The Price Is Right another chance. She gave Bob some respect and he paid off immediately! Do not disrespect the Bob.

I went to bed at 1:30am, the old lady of the group, but those two carried on for god knows how long. The whole airport experience a few short hours later was so exhausting that Sei suggested we upgrade to first class just so we could have some comfortable, roomy seats on the flight home. Since it's really inexpensive to do so with National Airlines on the day of travel ($60 extra no matter how much you paid for your original seat, your free travel agent tip of the day) we allowed her to convince us. And oh, it was worth it.

I said goodbye to the others at SFO and went off to stand in yet another line, this one for Alaska so I could redeem my coupon for my ticket to Palm Springs (I'm going to see my parents in December on what is probably my last free ticket ever -- I don't think the airlines will be giving those out to travel agents any more). John brought me home and rubbed my aching feet, we had some lunch, and I fell asleep for three hours. I laugh at the idea that I was going to study tonight. I did laundry instead, and wrote this.

But that's okay, I have tomorrow to review, and it's an open book test anyway. What matters is that I had a really, really good time in Las Vegas. I had a great time with my girlfriends, we've all vowed to go again next year (and not take a morning flight, my god), so Vegas once again served its purpose as the ideal short escapist weekend vacation.

And I got this cool mug to prove it.

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