Work is a bit depressing. I've had to tell so many people they aren't going on vacation. Don't think that sounds too bad compared to the deaths and injuries in New York and the other crash sites? It's sad, though. These trips were planned for months. My clients have very little time left in the year to rearrange their plans and find a different week to go, plus other people in their offices have made their plans. If they don't take the time off this year they lose those vacation days; most people can't carry unused time over to the next year. Although they are getting their money back with no penalty it is a severe disappointment to them. It is no fun at all being the bearer of bad news.

Of course this means all my hard work on those vacations is for naught. That's thousands of dollars in commissions lost, plus my valuable time that I spent working with my clients. It's such a pity, such a waste. August was an agonizingly slow month in sales to begin with. Now we're processing refunds by the dozen. The national disaster is going to cost something like 10 billion dollars in lost revenue while the airports reopen and the flights slowly resume. I can't help but hope it doesn't cost me my job.

On top of this, I'm feeling slightly beleaguered by the amount of kneejerk patriotic fervor around me. I'm patriotic, do not misunderstand me, but I don't think flying an American flag at my desk makes a statement to terrorists. I think it makes people feel better and gives them something to focus on in a time of great national disturbance. I approve. At the same time, I don't think I need any more email telling me how unappreciated America is by large portions of the rest of the world. Maybe we are, but maybe we made ourselves justifiably unpopular, too. It doesn't justify the murders committed, but we should remember the hatred of America and what we stand for didn't come out of nowhere, either.

I suppose I hold a minority viewpoint about all this. I don't want us to go to war on Afghanistan, even if the FBI and CIA conclusively prove that Bin Laden was behind the attacks. There will be too many civilian deaths and it probably won't work. I don't blame all Arabs for the actions of some coalition of Middle Eastern terrorists. There were many citizens of other countries who were killed in the World Trade Center attacks, not only Americans; their families have my deepest sympathy even though they will never know I feel this way. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) right now because of Tuesday's events, and it will take some of them a very long time to recover. I think it will take more than an American flag in every window, but if you or your loved ones need that comfort go ahead. Just understand that I feel every bit as patriotic when I exercise my right to speak and criticize our government for their decisions if I disagree with them.

All I can do for my country right now is help those who are far from home get back to where they want to be. If my blood is not useful, then at least my daily work is. That I do not begrudge in the least.

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