Seriously, I have talked to this one client every single day since she contacted us to book a cruise for her. She is driving me out of my mind, what little is left of it after working with the public for ten years. First she didn't want insurance, then 48 hours later she did. It's almost impossible to add it once payment has been made, but I got the gal at the cruise line to do it for me since the accounting department had (miraculously) not processed anything yet. Secondly, she told me to put the charge on her card (which I do by calling it in to the cruise line - they actually process the charge), then berated me for doing so immediately as she felt she should have five days to change her mind about it. I have no idea where she got this five days business. Perhaps her friends on Pluto beamed it to her. To cap it off she became fixated on what side of the ship the cabin would be on. I was ready to strangle her at that point, but I'd already spent a fair amount of time on the booking so I didn't want her to change her mind and back out of it.

This has been a real challenge of my temper and control over my voice. To understand why there is a problem you need to know that cruise lines sell cabins two ways: cabin assigment at time of booking, and what they call guarantee basis. Rooms on a cruise ship are divided up into categories. The price you pay for your cruise is tied to category and position of your cabin: the higher the category and the more desirable location you choose the more you pay. If you buy Category X on a guarantee basis you will be placed in Category X *or better* -- it's what to do if you want a shot at a free upgrade. She booked a very crowded cruise with little space left. The assigned cabin choice was long gone, and I explained several times before she ever gave me her credit card that this was the case. She seemed to understand and gave me her card. I have lived to regret it.

Five mornings in a row I have explained with excrutiating politeness the difference between "guaranteed category" and a guarantee that she would be on the starboard side no matter what. Five mornings in a row she has insisted that she's never heard of such a thing, told me I'm a bad agent, that every other travel agent she talked to told she could be guaranteed a starboard cabin, it must be my fault, she doesn't believe me when I say she can't be sure of getting it. Today she let me know she'll be in to make sure my boss knows what a bad job I'm doing. Hey, that's fine by me. My boss is going to tell her the same thing I did. Some people will only listen to the person at the top. Maybe the client will believe my boss if she doesn't believe me. But you know, I doubt it. She quite literally refuses to hear what she doesn't want to hear.

No, it's not funny yet. Maybe in a month or two.

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