I know it's early days but I want to figure out what kind of degree I'm going to get. I have my heart set on English Literature, but I have so many credits in Music that it seems a shame to waste them on a mere minor. I've got the minor in Music done, as a matter of fact. I can tell from the description in the San Francisco State catalog which Allyn Cadogan kindly loaned me. We got together earlier this week and she filled me in on the secret requirements no one tells you about, and which professors are to be avoided, and the ideal formula for writing successful papers. I listened carefully and then took the enormous catalog home to study.
I still think English will be it, but I may double major. Or I may take a Bachelor of Arts in Music which would be a non-performing degree. Part of me still wants very much to be able to say I majored in music. That is such an long-held dream of mine. I was smitten with the desire to be a musician fairly early. I still recall the rapture of hearing an orchestra for the first time. I was in second grade. At the end of the concert I wanted nothing more than to play the violin. My parents were willing to let me have music lessons, but preferred that I take something a little less nerve-wracking to learn. I chose flute, but I don't remember why. I didn't do very well and soon gave it up. My passion was for the expressiveness and fluidity of stringed instruments. Three years later I joined a choir and realized that singing was even better than playing the violin. I have identified as a musician ever since. It would close a major emotional chapter to finish my degree in music.
I do want to study English. I'd love to spend time on the history of the language, have a chance to read 17th and 18th century novels, get some guidance on how to find original source material for the book I want to write. It's just that I keep thinking, "Sure, I haven't sung in 20 years, but I've done music theory, ear training, composition, music history, class piano, countless hours of voice lessons, choral conducting, performances, a fair amount of it upper division... it must be worth half the degree at least. I could take voice lessons on my own and audition if they'd agree I had a lot that could transfer."
Okay, okay. At least a year of gen. ed. requirements to go before I can even think of applying and I'm already worring about my area of concentration. But that's my deal. I think too much, and jump ahead, and hate that I have to do the basics before I can get to the fun stuff. It got me into trouble when I used to act on that desire. Now I let myself go through the motions early, and then settle down to plow through those basics. I find it helps me sift through the "ooh, shiny!" response to an array of choices if I go through the process more than once. Right now I think I want to finish pursuing music, if only because it would be the first time I ever finished anything in my life without changing my mind. But a year from now I may sit down with the catalog once again and realize it's not wrong to change my mind if the net result will make me just as happy.
Maybe I should practice singing more often. Karaoke, anyone?
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