We're taking Violet back in the morning. It's breaking my heart, but she is desperately, destructively panicky about being left alone in the backyard for any amount of time. We went out to dinner tonight and came home to find the entire right side of the door frame pulled out from the house and chewed up, the door violently gouged, and teeth and claw marks on the left side of the wooden frame. The amount of destruction is unbelievable. We will have to replace both door and frame, they're that torn up.
The message is clear. She feels unsafe, afraid, abandoned. She tried to get into the house by the only means she had at her disposal. We can't go on like this.
We are not the right family for her. No dog should have to go through that much anxiety every time she's left to roam free for a few hours in a big backyard with grass and dirt and a nice shelter. We can't keep doing this to her. We practiced leaving and coming back, giving her a safe word, letting her have free access to the house and yard while we were at home, letting her sleep with us at night, giving her endless hugs and kisses and petting. But she will hurt herself if she keeps on like this. Already she has a limp and several cut marks on her nose from trying to get through the wire fence to the door. I can't bear seeing her like this.
So tomorrow John and I will take the dog we thought was ours back to the shelter. They've been working with us, they're aware of the situation, and they will let us choose another dog in the future. I talked several times with Brenda Barnette, the Executive Director of the shelter who sympathized, gave us lots of good suggestions, and asked us to bring her back if she showed no signs of getting better after this weekend. At least the shelter knows quite a lot more about her as a result of our experience with her. They understand now that Violet must only go to a home where someone is there all day, and hopefully where she can be with another dog so she's not so traumatized when her owner inevitably goes to the store or an appointment.
Poor little Violet. She is so darling. She deserves a home where she feels safe and happy. I thought we could give that to her. We can't, so we'll let her go and someday she'll find the right home and the right family. Pets In Need is a no-kill shelter so she'll stay with them until that happens. That's the only thing that reconciles me to returning her. I know she'll be safe with them.
I will miss her. She is a great dog.
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