As always, the Diary Collaboration project wants to know what if. This month, the question is what would happen if I won the lottery; would I take the lesser but still hefty cash payment or go for the maximum payment in 20 yearly installments? And what would I do with all that money? As it happens, I've already done a diary entry about this very question. In fact, I don't really have any new answers. It's pretty straightforward.
I'd take the cash in a flash. Why should the lottery people hang on to my money and earn interest on it when I could be investing it and earning the interest myself? People are crazy to take the installment plan. You can't possibly count on the money until you've got it in the bank. Who knows what could happen in the space of 20 years? I believe the money would be there that long like I believe I'm going to be able to live on Social Security.
Once I had my cash I'd hire a tax attorney and find myself a broker or three. I'd pay off my debts. I'd buy exactly the house I want in exactly the neighborhood I want (you've no idea how quickly a few million would get eaten up this way). Then I'd settle into the life I'm sure I'd enjoy hugely: being a philanthropist. I'd give to conservation and animal charities like the Nature Conservancy, Care for the Wild, the ASPCA, and the Humane Association. No money for people charities like United Way. People will benefit from the conservancy charities, anyway. They'll be trained to protect their natural environment, stewards of the land, which will simultaneously save the earth a little longer and provide a decent income from tourism. My charitable contributions would go towards staving off annihilation and extinction, making room and buying time for the creatures without voices and their habitats. I'm not wholly against helping people, of course. I'd buy artwork, commission choral works, and arrange grants for struggling artists in several fields of endeavor and not just the fine arts.
I'd do a few frivolous things with my money, of course. I'd indulge my travel whims for a couple of years before settling down into my new house. I'd hire a chef, maids, and a masseuse. It would be heaven to never have to cook or clean again. I'd also hire a personal trainer. There's more of that sort of thing, but it's banal and obvious. I think you know I'd quit any job I held a.s.a.p., baby. I wouldn't have time to work, what with traveling to see how my conservation money was being spent, and going to board meetings, and working on fundraising.
I'd also learn how to cope with the constant invasion of privacy by strangers wanting a piece of my multimillion dollar pie. I'd have to harden myself against the inevitable requests from distant family and so-called friends wanting a hand-out. My immediate family would benefit from having supported me unstintingly when I was broke but the rest of the family can go hang. My ne'er-do-well brother? Well, that's a tough one. I'd like to say I'd never give him a cent but I don't work that way. If I thought there was something I could do with money that I hadn't been able to do with sisterly love then I'd do it. It'd be another charity. As for the rest of my unearned millions, I'd teach myself about investment, and stocks, and real estate, so I wouldn't be entirely at the mercy of my brokers. I would accustom myself to being wealthy without turning into an asshole. I would grow up.
It'd be quite a challenge. I'd like to find out if I'm up to it. I suspect I am. A great pity, then, that I don't buy lottery tickets. I guess this means I'd better get back to the laundy.
For more answers, visit the Diary Collaboration web site.
