Well, live long enough and that stuff fixes itself. I've been around the block a few times, made a lot of mistakes, paid for most of them the hard way, and now my opinions are based on a pretty good understanding of both the world and what matters to me.

But I didn't arrive at this fully formed adult persona without a lot of help. So I want to thank everyone who made a difference in my life, either turning my thinking around, showing me new options, supporting me in my decisions, or inspiring me to rise above perceived limitations.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for giving me love, safety, guidance, and the freedom to try almost anything I wanted. Thank you, Mary Lou, for being the best step-mother in the whole world. Thank you, Mark and Sarah, for still speaking to me despite my eldest sister bossiness.

Thank you, Suzanne VanderSanden, for being my best friend in grade school. I can't count the number of hours we spent playing "dress-up" after school, prancing around in long skirts pretending to be orphaned ballerinas and other unlikely scenarios. The wholehearted giving over of ourselves to improvisation and fantasy nourished my imagination and my soul.

Thank you, Susan Fiedler, Susan Atherly, Curtis Hansen and Lori Weber, for being my best friends from fifth grade through the first year of college. You were my audience, my sounding board, my inspiration, and my competition when I needed all of those things from peers. You didn't give up on me even when I let you down or behaved badly. You made junior high, the toughest years of my life, bearable. I literally could not have gotten through it without you.

Thank you, Mercer Island High School senior choir, class of 1975, for sticking up for me when the choir teacher wouldn't let me join because of a technicality. You made me feel welcome as a fellow musician, and your indignation on my behalf was balm to my wounded pride. It was the first time I realized that people liked me because of who I was and not in spite of it.

Thank you, high school drama club, for showing me that it's one thing to love the theater and something else entirely to be a good actor. Being cast in a show my senior year gave me a chance to shine onstage, enjoy a little celebrity, and clarified for me that I didn't really want to be an actor. It was the first time I considered the logical consequences of making a living as an artist.

Thank you, Gilda and Linnea Wren, for your dedication to classical music and your emotional, eclectic, wildly creative spirits. You introduced me to ABBA, Aquavit, and the unapologetically passionate life.

Thank you, Joan Hovnanian, for being my best friend in college. I'm sorry I lied to you. I desperately wanted you to like me and be my friend, and I did not know that friendship based on a lie always founders in the end. It was a bitter lesson to learn. I hope you found peace in your adult life; neither of us had the knack for it back then. And thank you for introducing me to Schubert, a gift beyond measure.

Thank you, Mia Rose Wu, for your long years of friendship, the only college friend I stayed in touch with after I left the University of Washington. Your contributions to my education as a civilized person are almost too numerous to mention. Thanks to you I eat dim sum, buy any clothing I really like in several different colors, and can boast of having gone to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show when it first opened. I can never listen to Roxy Music's "Love is the Drug" without picturing us sitting around your apartment near campus smoking colored Sobrani cigarettes while trying on outlandish shoes and makeup. Any sense of style I have I owe to you.

Thank you, Citizen Sane and Visible Targets, for hiring me to do your graphics, run lights, work the door, distribute posters, and be part of the Seattle music scene. I had the best time dancing to your music back when New Wave and punk ruled the college radio airwaves. I'm still surprised you never broke into the big time, but I'm so glad I was along for the ride.

Thank you, Dave Clements, for introducing me to so much new music and being such a good friend at a pivotal time in my life. Your untimely death broke my heart. I loved you dearly. I wish I'd told you, but I think you knew.

Thank you, Janice Murray, for recognizing a fellow geek in the depths of clerical hell and rescuing me by talking about sound equipment and science fiction. You introduced me to fandom for which there are not enough words to express my gratitude. I admire your wit, your sharp mind, your humor, and your generosity.

Thank you, Seattle fanzine fandom, for feeding my head. In your midst I made my first truly adult friendships, decided I could learn to be a good writer, and summoned enough courage to leave my hometown at last. No matter how long I live in the Bay Area I'll always think of myself as a Seattle fan.

Thank you, Ted White, for hosting me for four months in Falls Church and indulging my voracious urge to explore fan history, create fanzines, and smoke like a chimney. It was the best internship in fandom I can imagine, and I consider those charmed, high octane months one of the highlights of my life. All that, and Avedon Carol, too: I'm still proud of Rude Bitch and its effect on fandom.

Thank you, all the fans around the world who have had me as a houseguest for varying lengths of time, especially the Pickersgills in 1984, Australian fandom in 1987, and Phil Palmer, Judith Hanna, Joseph Nicholas, Patrick and Teresa Nielsen Hayden more or less constantly. I probably overstayed my visits but I loved spending time with you. Mi sofabed es su sofabed.

Thank you, Bryan Barrett, for being a stalwart friend and true: my co-editor, my co-host, my co-conspirator, and my knight in shining armor. I'm pretty sure we were married in a past life. You know, if I believed in past lives.

Thank you, Lynn Peril, for befriending me at work when I was constantly being blindsided by the Good Old Boys network while being assured there was no such thing. Your perspective helped me find the self-confidence to leave a well-paying but soul-killing job. Your friendship continues to bring me great pleasure even though we don't see each other nearly enough because of my unreasonable dislike of the East Bay. Thanks for understanding.

Thank you, Denise Rehse, for being my best friend since 1983. We are very different, yet fundamentally the same in all the important ways. Sometimes I feel like you are the only person who truly understands me. Sometimes I know for a fact you are. You are such a joyous, inspiring presence in my life.

Thank you, readers of Aries Moon, for being here. I'm gratified and happy to have an audience. You all, every one of you, rock my world.

Finally, thank you, John Bartelt, for the love, friendship, humor, integrity, intelligence, sweetness, and honesty you give me in abundance. As if that weren't enough you let me have a cat. If I needed any proof whatsoever that you love me without limits, that would have clinched it.

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