I am deeply bitter that Xeney, Dave Van, Gabby, and Nancy all went offline this week. I loved those journals, I really did. My pathetic little Other Journals list is now as shriveled and useless as Bob Dole before Viagra. As Space Ghost would say, "You're bringing' me down, man!" Not that they care about that, but I don't read many other journals, so the loss of four of them is a huge percentage. I'm more of a writer than a reader, which is why I can't stand mailing lists devoted to journals. Well, that and they're generally populated by people who'd rather chat on mailing lists than get any actual writing done.
I've been outed as bitter over at the Mighty Kymm's page, too. She said something about being middle aged just because she's going to be 35 this year and I laughed my head off. 35, middle aged? No. 40 is middle aged, and not before. I'm not saying you're going to instantly turn into the cranky, tedious suburbanite that I've become, but it's still going to hit you upside the head unpleasantly at least once: you can't fool anyone at all anymore. You are no longer a young adult. You are smack dab in the middle of your adulthood. 25 year olds will not be amazed at your youthful appearance and tell you that you look at least 10 years younger. They will suddenly begin thinking of you as someone contemporary with their parents. And you will not like that, not one little bit, even if you thought you were the happiest, most fulfilled person on earth.
But as I've said before, I wouldn't trade this age for the others I've been. Life began at 28 for me, and I've been in pretty good shape ever since. I only wish some of my friends had snapped out of their downward spirals and could be here to enjoy the benefits of being smack dab in the middle of their adulthood, too. Sometimes I desperately miss them. It's not so bad losing the journals by comparison. All the same, I'm sorry so many paths have diverged from mine over the years. No matter how old you are, it's important to have friends who have known you for a long time. That way, time stands still at least once in a while.
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