Not that this is news, it's just so striking. Like you can't simply love someone for being themselves, you have to worry about whether they like you a sufficient amount back or it's "a waste of time" or something. And casual sex isn't casual at all, for sure. People feel pressured to make a commitment, or eschew commitments, or get married by x date. No one drifts along, taking what comes and enjoying it for what it offers at the time. Everyone lives in the future: what will happen? Is this real? Am I too much/too little/wrongly in love? My head spins from all the questions.

I can only offer my own story. I met my beloved at age 26. We dated, and lived together, and then married at ages 32 and 34 respectively. We never really discussed where we were going. We like being married. We're not what the other thought True Love would look like. It's not like the novels at all. It's not even terribly romantic. It's just a great relationship that gives us pleasure and makes us more than we are separately, and yet doesn't diminish what we are separately. And all of this is to be striven for, inasmuch as we can do anything about it.

I'd like to assure everyone that they'll find someone, but I gave up on that foolish notion many years since. It's sad, but there's no guarantees. And what if you never do find The One? Well, then, why not take love in whatever form it appears: a loving friendship, a pet to care for, a short relationship with maybe someone you wouldn't marry but you like very much? That's about all I can recommend to the searchers. Be gigantic. Don't force things into little boxes. Enjoy yourself in any situation. It's all we can ever do. If True Love walks in the door, mazel tov. But don't, please, oh dear friends of mine, don't be hard on yourself or others because True Love never found you. Life is so short. Let the agenda go.