Every time I say something like, "Everyone knows that," I discover I am wrong. I assumed everyone knew that the reason the Titanic's sinking was so important to maritime history was because it was a series of fatal, avoidable mistakes that clarified how safety laws had failed to keep pace with technology, and how limited some of the ancillary technology was. They sailed without enough lifeboats because they were complying with antique maritime safety regulations based on merchant ships, not passenger ships. They relied almost entirely on visual identification of obstacles (the communications from other ships were relying on them, too). By the time you see an iceberg it's usually too late to avoid it.
After the disaster the maritime safety laws were revised to include the unique needs of passenger ships, and there was a rush to develop the technology that would eventually lead to sonar. I knew that; I assumed after the huge success of the movie and all the attendant tv specials that everyone else would know that. And, well, I was wrong. So I'm sorry.
I know this is a by-product of my unfortunate tendency to think that if I can do something it's easy, and if I can't it's hard. If I know some fact or reference then it must be obvious. If I don't know it, I'm stupid. This is a very wicked little habit. I really don't know why I picked it up considering I'm always anxious to establish my intelligence and cleverness. It's almost anti-intellectual in the way it devalues what I learn. It doesn't interfere with my learning, it interferes with the way I express what I learn. It's one reason I don't write long essays about topics of general interest. I can't believe anyone would be interested in my opinions, and I don't have anything new or unique to say about the world anyway. I'll never be a Tomato Nation, a Xeney, a Rick McGinnis. I don't especially want to be, but I'd like to be capable of writing that sort of extended essay and I don't think I am at this point in time.
This is not a "I'm not as good as x" complaint. This is a realization that I am better than anyone at keeping me in my place, whatever that may be. I don't notice it a lot of the time, and then I make some sort of assumption on what everyone does or doesn't know which promptly bites me on the butt, and suddenly I recognise the pattern. The thing is, I can't figure out why I hang on to this habit, subconsciously or otherwise. It sets up a lose-lose situation. It's counter productive. It's mean. It does psychological harm, and it ensures that I look like a big jerk on a regular basis.
It's a defense mechanism, I suspect. And if that's the case, whatever it is I'm afraid of can't be nearly as bad as this destructive way of protecting myself.
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