Week two of the new low/no fat lifestyle. I have not lost more weight but that's okay. I fell off the wagon once but it was simply having a cheese and avocado and turkey sandwich, not some gross pigout. I have not been near fast food or fried food. I have conscientiously purchased more fruits and vegetables. I have examined every label carefully for fat content. I have prepared and eaten tofu.
I am dreaming of burritos. And cheeseburgers. And fried chicken. Help me.
It's really scary how intensely I'm desiring the more egregiously fat-laden foods right now. The ol' body isn't too happy about the change, I guess. I'm fighting years of bad habits. It won't be a snap to do this. But anytime I think too hard about backsliding I remember how much I loathe taking pills. It's my gag reflex. I find it very hard to control. Except, oddly enough, when it comes to oral sex.
Somehow the urge to eat is at its worst in the evenings. I never used to be particularly hungry after work. Man, I'm hunting through the cupboards every night now, searching for something to chew on that isn't fattening. It sort of reminds me of when I was briefly taking a course of cortisone for some suspected allergic reaction. I was a one woman eating machine. I wasn't hungry most of the time, but all I could think about was eating. It was way out of my control. I used to crunch down carrots and celery like nobody's business just to be chewing. I sense some of that now. I'm not deprived of food, but I've altered my body chemistry just enough, obviously, to set off a reaction. Another week or so and I should be over this little phase. I hope.
To avoid eating my own body weight in rice cakes, John and I spent a comfortable hour in the Snack Den watching a History Channel feature on the Korean war. Actually, I was reading and he was watching tv. He brought home the current issue of Playboy magazine with a big article on Kevin Spacey so I read it. I'm totally smitten with Spacey's acting. It was interesting to read some of his personal history. He and Mare Winningham were co-valedictorians? Man, whatever happened to her? She had six kids and dropped out of sight after the 80's as far as I know. Spacey, of course, is now a certifiably hot property. I felt an urge to see some of his movies again after finishing the article.
Then, of course, I looked at all the photos of naked women.
Now I'm sipping tea made of peppermint, chamomile, and St. John's Wort. I haven't had a good night's sleep since Friday and I desperately need it. Work irritated me so much today that I thought I might literally scream if I had to answer one more question. I would have killed for just one interesting booking to Buenos Aires or Phuket. No dice. All day long it was queries about the same four cities (Denver, L.A., Chicago, Dallas), and requests for packages (we don't do packages over the phone), and changes to tickets I'd either just issued or just put together which meant voiding everything and starting over. Miserable day. Glad it's over.
Dear me, I wonder if my hits will go up now that I've mentioned oral sex and naked women. You think?
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