I spent the weekend crying, sleeping, or driving. A little trough of downtime brought on by the implications of peri-menopause, I'm afraid. As I drove up to San Francisco on Saturday to visit Lynn Peril, I started bawling. It's so sad, so sad. I've been able to put off all but the most intellectual acceptance of my age. I don't look middle aged, after all, and I don't feel it but this is irrefutable evidence I'm no longer young. My face and body are changing for good. Even if I could I wouldn't be 20 again, but oh, this is hard. The sorrow was unbearable for a day. Give me a little time to find my way here.
When I got to Lynn's house I discovered she was ill. We talked for a little while, then I made a graceful exit and drove around town a bit. I enjoyed looking at the stunning Victorian houses in the Haight district, and even considered parking to look at them on foot, but no parking was to be had for love or money at that time in that area. Instead, I drove down to look at a place I used to live on lower Haight (near Scott). The area's gentrified so much it's amazing. It was still wild and funky when I lived there in 1983.
I got a veggie burrito in the Mission District and headed down the peninsula as rain drifted in from the ocean. Back home, I dutifully removed my eye makeup but something got into my eyes and made them puff up enormously in a mild allergic reaction, either from me rubbing makeup into them while crying or getting a bit of remover in them. I started laughing at the absurd figure I cut, but stopped when I realized my head hurt. Oh woe, oh misery. I went to bed at 9 o'clock, reading and sniffling, and slept until until 9 the next morning feeling much, much better. Sleep was always my best friend.
Today, we went out for dim sum and brought home Hong Kong kung fu movies. We watched Zu: warriors from the magic mountain which was fairly amusing. The best part was an ad for another movie in the trailers: famous kung fu guy Sammy Yam was being showcased in a set of three movies under the umbrella title of Yam Can Kill. Well, I thought it was funny.
I made lasagna for dinner, and spent hours updating my old archives. I've got everything done back to May 1997 including titles. God, what a tiresome job it is. I ought to have been finishing something for the web page at work but I forced myself to keep to the job I started. It was overcast and prone to drizzle today but it never really rained. Too bad. It smells like autumn again, and the cool weather is welcome. If it would rain I would be completely happy.
