First of all, I need to be watching for some angel guys showing up. There's a small band who play trumpets and some who just flit around in general: "And I saw an angel fly in the midst of heaven; and there followed another angel; and the third angel followed them." Wow. What a job. Okay, so then I need to be on the lookout for Death, Famine, Pestilence, and a guy who looks like a Transformer Robot. I'll be able to tell them apart by the color of their horses which is darned considerate of them. After that, well, apparently it all goes scientifictional what with the Beast and Mrs. Beast sort of supernaturally well-dressed, overseeing the robot wars and fending off angels. God is writing poetry by the seashore while all this is going on. I know it's God and not Jesus because Jesus is on his white horse. God is far more heavily bearded. Also, he's transparent. I can see the shore through his white robes. So that's good to know; we're getting shuffled off to hell or heaven while he wonders what rhymes with orange.

Now, this is all based on the brochure my pal Resident got. I haven't actually read Revelations, nor do I intend to. I'm just working out what to expect. I'm really looking forward to the appearance of several creatures, such as the beast with seven heads and ten horns (this one features a triceratops with extra horns. Really) and the ultra scary-sounding critter from Revelations 13:11 which has "two horns like a lamb and he spake as a dragon." The ravening, maddened hellbeast on the brochure with horns like a lamb is...a buffalo. True, it's a buffalo with red eyes, but it's still clearly a buffalo. Oh, boy.