Today's mail for Resident, the fellow around here who gets all the interesting stuff, included a fabulous slick brochure for "The Time of the Beast." It looked pretty nifty, and for a few moments I thought it was an ad for a new computer game. Ravening dragon-like beast, check. Maiden with bosom heaving in distress, check. Black moon, check. But lo and behold, it is not a computer game. It is an exciting lecture series that will "make the Book of Revelation Make Sense." It says so, right here, and stuff.
Inside the brochure the illustrations are even more exciting. Jesus is riding a white horse, looking pretty white himself. There's some angels with really badly drawn wings having a big fight in the sky next to him, right where Jesus is gonna get zinged if he doesn't put up his Shield of Invincibility. There's a sort of Moon Maiden on a moon and a howling beast underneath her, presumably threatening her maidenliness. The beast looks like a cross between Gidra and Cerebus, if you can imagine. And then there's a real scary-looking businessman with the numbers 666 imprinted on his forehead. So I guess he's the actual Beast. But wait! There's also Mrs. Beast, who is wearing a rather nice pair of earrings with her turtleneck shirt and the 666 emblazoned on her forehead. And then, just to top it all off, there's a military guy with big lasergun eyes shooting green fire all around. I hadn't realized there was so much scheduled for the Apocalypse.
And it's all brought to you (or Resident, in our case), by the Amazing Facts Committee on Arrangements. Now that's what I call a committee name.
The IndexNext Entry