Hopeful news at last. John will interview early next week at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center in Palo Alto for two possible positions. It's where he did his post-doc, so everyone knows him there. As for me, I sent out two resumes in the mail yesterday and got a phone call from one of the companies today for an interview on Friday. It's corporate travel, but that's fine. That's just fine. Anything to get back into the work force and make my days go fast and my bank account look less emaciated. Two interviews from six resumes. That's a very encouraging return.
Now the hard part: working out in advance how much salary to ask for. I can't remember what I earned at my last job. I'll have to look it up. I don't know what agencies pay these days, either, particularly in Nashville. If I were an entry level claims adjuster for an insurance company I could command $75K a year. Imagine! My first full time adult job was as a file clerk for an insurance company. I believe they paid me $4.25 an hour. I lasted six months, and staged a nervous breakdown in front of the whole department rather than just quit. Really. Crying, shaking, gibbering, unable to move; god, it was dramatic. I had no idea it was okay to just quit. I thought there needed to be a very good reason, and being bored to the point of daily tears didn't strike me as enough of a reason. I was 21.
I still tend to work in horrible jobs beyond the point any sane person would quit for mental health reasons. I'm deathly afraid of being called lazy. I can't cope with the idea of just walking away merely because I hate my job with every ounce of my being. Why? I don't understand. Low self-esteem isn't really a big problem for me in other areas of my life, but I sure have trouble knowing when to leave a bad job. You'd think I'd grown up dirt poor and been forced to eat dog food all my life, but for pete's sake, I'm the product of the comfortable middle class suburbs. I'm not even an over-achiever. Heck, I'm barely a coffee achiever.
Given my past history, I'm pleased to report I feel perfectly comfortable about requesting real money. I'm determined to ask for as much as possible, partly for negotiation reasons and partly to let them know I think highly of my skills. I'm a hell of a good employee and I'd like to have my salary reflect that. Tricky thing, salaries. You have to be good at undercurrents: knowing when it's personal and when it's not, taking into account all the office politics, your own goals within the company, and whether or not you'll sacrifice money for autonomy. I will never manage an office again, for instance. Take home work? No. Work weekends? No. Not this agent. You can have me Monday to Friday, nine to five, and then I have a life to live, thank you very much.
I happen to think the company I'm interviewing with may well offer me what I want. Corporate work is far more cut and dried than the leisure side of things; nothing but air, car, hotel all day long. But hey, at least you go home when your clients do. So cross your fingers. Maybe I'll get a job, John will get a job, and we'll both remember how to relax. I do hope so.
