This is the pits. First Frank Sinatra dies, and now I discover the challenging chefs on Iron Chef don't really get to choose who to challenge. My illusions are shattered, I tell you. I finally found a FAQ for the show and I'm almost sorry I did.
But not quite. Without the FAQ I would never have known that the M.C. is an actor currently appearing in Jesus Christ Superstar. My mind is frankly boggling. Another excellent thing I discovered while researching web pages on Iron Chef, my favorite Japanese tv show, is the existence of ironchef-l. Yes! There's a mailing list! Of course there is, why didn't I realize it would exist, what was I thinking? Anyway, I've signed up and gotten my first few mailings. Thankfully, it's not full of manic flaming or pointless, extraneous arguments about unrelated topics like every other mailing list I've ever joined. In fact, it answers the very questions I've wondered about for months.
Like, for instance, what exactly is Calpis? I know it's a drink because I saw it on the Japanese Engrish page a while back (you knew I was a fan of Japanese Engrish, right? Go see my links page if you want to know more). Clearly, it was a beverage. A beverage with a name that sounds like cow piss. Coincidence? I certainly hoped so, but with the Japanese and their love of English independent of meaning, who knew? Someone on ironchef-l knew! My life is pretty much complete now.
Oh, you want to know what it is? It's gross, actually. It's kind of a milky white substance that's been cut with water and tastes insanely sweet. I think I'll give it a miss.
I do have other favorite Japanese tv shows. I just don't know what they're called. One is a soap opera about some businesswomen and a tofu cosmetics firm. One is an interminable family saga with a patriarch who doesn't understand his kids, a matriarch who is the true boss of the family, a misanthropic teenage boy who is very sullen when he's not being violent, a teenage daughter who seems to have fallen in love with someone inappropriate, and a little girl who is there purely for cuteness. Classic stuff in any language. And one is called something like "The Best Boss in the World." Actually, that one ended recently...I think. It seemed to be based around a travel agency, although unlike my travel agency the girls actually had to accompany some of their clients on trips. They took coaches to the Japanese equivalent of Cleveland, and the girls had to wear white gloves while serving beer on the coach. It was very interesting even though I had no idea what the point was most of the time.
It's odd. I've never seen an entire episode of Seinfeld, but I can tell you who's who in a Japanese soap opera. I don't think South Park is funny, but I roar at the quips about bean curd artisans on Iron Chef. Maybe the reason I don't get so much of American humor is that I got the wrong humor genes at birth.
Somewhere in Osaka, someone is wondering why she's the only one who doesn't think "Giant Tofu Cosmetics Firm" is hilarious. Sighing, she sits and pours herself another glass of Calpis.
