Our regular bookkeeper is about to go on vacation for three weeks, and I've been designated to do the ARC report while he's gone. When she heard about it, my sister (a former travel agent) said, "Do they know your background in math?" in horrified tones. No, they don't, and yes, it's a nightmare come true: I am going to be responsible for submitting all of our sales transactions to the Airline Reporting Corporation.
You have to understand that the ARC is the clearinghouse for all ticket transactions by airlines and travel agencies. They are formidably strict about all the rules, and if I screw up we could conceivably be fined up the yinyang. This isn't likely, I admit, but it does mean I feel obliged to be perfect at the one kind of task I'm really terrible at: tracking money. My check book does not usually balance even though I use a calculator and carefully sift through my statements each month. I think I'd be less terrified of doing my income taxes after inheriting a fortune, marrying Ted Turner, and buying Las Vegas.
It'll be fine; of course it'll be fine. Butch is training me well, and the accounting applications for recording and processing the tickets are straightforward. I actually like using Excel, not that it has a thing to do with the reports I'll be running 99 percent of the time. I have worked on the back end of the sales process before, even, doing Quality Control. It's just that I get nervous when I have to manipulate figures. Somehow, it seems to go all wrong and I end up $7 dollars overdrawn or $20 high. What will it be like when I'm in charge of hundreds of thousands of dollars? (Insert weak smile here.)
No, no, no. I am going to look on the bright side. I am a detail-oriented, responsible, mature individual with many years experience in clerical functions, and I am more than capable of coping with the ARC report. I will have help if I need it from the owner of the agency who used to do the report herself. And I can't possibly top my friend Denise who once misplaced a million dollars in a careless moment during an electronic transaction at a bank she was clerking for. I think her exact words were, "I hope they're not going to take this out of my paycheck."
My sentiments precisely.
