02/08/98

Job hunting is sooooo depressing. You keep finding out how tremendously under-educated, over-qualified, laughably trained, and unnecessary you are to the general public. I mean, it's enough to give a girl a complex! So I'm rebelling. I'm not going to try to make myself over simply to get a job. I'm going to find a job that will make me happy just the way I am. Herewith, I present a list of things I really, really like to do.

Be with cats and dogs all day. Feed them, groom them, pet them, amuse them.
Give people advice on their love life. I am Love Cop.
Develop and maintain elaborate virtual realities in MOO progamming code. Play, chat, build.
Read history and historical fiction. Soak up details avidly. Forget which century I live in.
Write. I wish someone would pay me to write. Don't we all?
Teach myself Photoshop, Illustrator, and other paint programs. I'm getting pretty good at PS.
Make and drink coffee. Talk about coffee. Argue about coffee. Love coffee.
Learn French, Spanish, Italian, and Swahili. Speak them non-fluently but enthusiastically.
Advise others on the right clothes and shoes and accessories to buy. Man, am I good at this.
Discover great online diaries and present them to the public. I am a pretty decent editor, too.

There has to be some combo that positively screams to be developed among all that. For instance, I think I'd like to run the Psychic Pets Coffee Shop. You could come in and buy some cat toys, get some luuuuv advice while sipping a latte, and read about the enormous impact of the American Revolution on British fashion (here's a hint: cotton embargo). It'd be a one stop shopping extravaganza. It would be way better than going to Starbuck's. Pet-deprived city dwellers would mingle with java-deprived hipsters and everyone would be able to buy a terrifically useful prediction of whether Love, Money, or Power is in your future. I would take to wearing lots of makeup and floaty scarfs and bangles.

Well, I'd enjoy it, at any rate. I'd better start writing up my business plan. I'm sure this will be much more satisfying than just another clerical job.