I know why most women don't wear hats. It's because it takes a sense of security, and a willingness to be looked at. Hardly anyone I know wears them. I do. I adore hats. I have 10 of them, ranging from feathers and short veils to practical cloches. My only regret is I don't dress up often enough to wear them more. But when I do, I invariable get compliments and the confession that the person talking to me wishes she had the nerve to wear a hat. Honestly, I don't understand it. It doesn't take that much nerve. It just takes self-confidence.

I don't think swinging all the way to the other side and wear little Evita outfits is the answer, though. Man, those things are ugly. Even Madonna looks dowdy and old in them. Sorry, bzzzt, thanks for playing. I'm hoping the new spring fashions are a bit more interesting than Dior rehashes. I am losing that hope as I thumb through the catalogs.

I would like to know if the people who buy for Land's End are foisting these vanilla clothes on us in revenge for their own fashion excesses. I bet every one of the buyers has a little faux Dior in her closet and is making up for it by getting the rest of us to look like hopeless dweebs. Ha! Well, not me. I'm going to wear my favorite hat with jeans and a silk shirt, next time I need to go out. I'll look simply divine as I sashay through the grocery store and buy dog food. Pearls before swine, darlings, pearls before swine.