I must regretfully admit I have a very undisciplined mind. I fear I'll never be a good thinker. It appears I can't follow a thought longer than a few steps in the process; I think of an idea or a theory, think of a related concept, get distracted, and forget to follow the thought to its conclusion. It's like trying to get a cat into its carrier so you can take it to the vet. My mind wriggles and balks and runs around in circles trying to escape. Very annoying some days.
In particular, I'm trying to pay close attention to my two science classes. This may be my only chance to concentrate (if that's possible) on these subjects in a classroom situation, and I'd like to take advantage of that. After this semester I have cultural anthropology, philosophy, psychology, religious studies, and literature courses to complete. Earning my baccalaureate will probably be the sum of my formal education. So this is a very special semester in that I am studying something completely outside my normal interests, and I want to absorb the material, think about the implications, and draw a few conclusions without being led to them by my books. I want the information to stay with me. I want to exercise my mind.
I aspire to be a very smart person. I always have. I refuse to let my own lack of discipline interfere with this goal, but I am here to tell you it's not easy to reform years of slothful habits just because I've gone back to school. My head works like this:
Idea.
Excitement.
Related idea.
Time to walk the dog?
Remember there was a newspaper article about related idea.
Ten minutes later find self looking into fridge, quest for newspaper forgotten.
Start over with idea again.
Awe. Pleasure at having idea in first place.
Beginning of associated concept suddenly digressing into unrelated topic.
Ooh, shiny.
I have got to settle down.
I finished my Biology take-home test today. 100 questions took me about two and a half hours because I had to research some of the information. I'm sure I've passed it, and I'm equally sure I would have been well and truly screwed if I'd had to take this test in class. I did really well with the general classifications, atoms and molecules, and most of cell structure and function. I bogged down a bit on organelles because I can never remember what the Golgi apparatus does. I was scrambling on bones because we only went over that last week and she didn't lecture much, just ran us through a series of slides while we played with a spinal column (discs separated by rubber cartilage of a most unlikely yellow shade). But I knew quite a lot about muscles and anything having to do with dietary matters because it's impossible to ignore all the talk in the media and advertising about carbohydrates, saturated fats, lactic acid build-up, etc. I wound up feeling rather proud of myself at the end of it. It's nice to know my brain hasn't wholly atrophied over the years away from the lecture hall.
Why am I standing here in front of the fridge?
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