So like, I'm in Bio tonight and we have to do this stupid oral presentation, you know? I mean not now, duh, but sometime during the semester. And we have to pick a topic about the body. I mean, ewww! And everyone in class has to find partners and form groups which is totally bogus because of course no one knows each other, and that's disaster with a capital ass. Like, some people totally blow off doing any work and then other people have to do it all, and then everyone gets the same grade which totally sucks for the person who ends up doing all the work, if you know what I'm saying.
So anyway, I turn to C-Girl and Blue and I go, "Let's be in a group!" And then this guy sitting next to me who we do not even know just barges in and goes, "I'll be in your group, too." And we're giving him the hairy eyeball because I am so sure we want some total buffoon in our group. But you know, he doesn't seem totally skanky, so I go, "Yeah." And then C-girl gets all big haired about it because she doesn't want this guy in our group but I'm all, "Whatever, dude, we have to let him in," and she settles down. Tch, jeez.
So we're talking about topics, and no one even wants to do this anyway, and then the guy sitting next to me goes, "Let's do the lungs!" and acts like this is the bomb diggety. I am so not doing my topic on the lungs. I mean, ewww. Blue is like totally, "No way!" C-Girl just gives him the stink eye.
Then she, are you ready for this? She goes, "Let's do our topic on the penis!" in a super loud voice. Blue and I are laughing our asses off, and the guy is all, "No way!" But of course we do it because C-Girl will get into a smackdown with anyone who doesn't go her way. And before we can stop her she runs down to tell the prof what our topic is. The prof is cracking up which rocks because no one has seen her smile before. So we're stuck. I am going to have to do web searches on "The penis through history or whatever," which means I'll be getting all these porn sites about guys with big penises instead of something useful like, uh, historical penises. Whoa. Did you know if you type penis a lot it starts to look wrong? Like it's totally spelled wrong or something.
So anyway, this is all just so typical. I have to stand up in front of the whole class and talk for five minutes about antique penises. "In olden days men were totally into their penises and they made a Greek God called Priapus and they worshipped him by drawing his picture everywhere. And they drew a big guy with a big penis in England, and every year they fill him in with white stuff. And it's right there where anyone can see it, this totally enormous penis which you can see from your train window if you look just right as it goes by, but you have to kind of turn around and look over your shoulder. I mean I heard that you can. The end."
But I'm not the only one who has to make a total fool of theirselves. Lung Boy is going to talk about penis diseases because that really turns him on or something. Blue is going to cover (hee!) structure and function because we have to have some science in our topic. And then I'm going to massively die of embarrassment because C-Girl swears she is going to name every single nickname people have for penises. I don't see what that has to do with the male reproductive organ, but she thinks it will be fun. And then we'll all get A's based on our great research into an important organ of the human body.
I'm so sure. We should have done lungs.
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