"In the symbolism of various sexual subcultures, on the East Coast (I've been told that the custom is reversed on the West Coast, which must make life interesting), the active/dominant/pitching person wears their markers -- rings, arm bands, handkerchiefs, earrings, etc. -- on the left, and the receptive/submissive/catching person wears theirs on the right."
You learn something new every day. I hope this doesn't mean my piercing on the right side of my nose is sending a secret signal to members of various sexual subcultures. Possibly the signal it sends is, "I'm into nasal sex." I suppose it doesn't matter since I'm not a participant in the kind of socializing where the placement of my piercing would matter. But I found it fascinating that the flagging existed.
I shouldn't have been surprised. I was familiar with the concept. Back in 1983 a friend of mine told me the significance of where she wore her bandana (left back pocket, right back pocket, knotted, tied, etc.) to let people know what kind of action she was looking for when she went clubbing. It was a revelation. People could signal exactly what sort of anonymous sex they were available for! How very forward. I couldn't have done it for a million dollars, not being the sort of person who went in for anonymous sex.
I've never been good at hiding in plain sight, either. All that signalling would have seemed a bit silly to me. Not that it is silly, far from it, but personally I would have felt like a second rate actor in a cheesy movie. I would be slumming, not committed. I can't even do an anonymous journal. I tried, I really did, but it goes against my nature to publically pretend to be someone else for more than about a minute. I have a violent dislike of being fooled, and I feel guilty trying to fool anyone into thinking I'm not me.
This bias against pretending spills over into other areas. Everyone else on the planet loves tv and movies. I have a very limited tolerance for watching actors act. I do like a good story, I do enjoy the movies once or twice a year, and I certainly go through periods of watching tv but it's nearly always reality-based stuff like NOVA or Antiques Roadshow or Iron Chef. I'm not immune to drama. I was a huge fan of Babylon 5. But in general I don't want to watch someone pretend to be someone else.
Of course, I am the biggest celebrity gossip hound alive. I am totally addicted to all the online and printed entertainment magazines. I suppose that confirms my preference, though. I am interested in the actors themselves, not their art.
I don't have issues with authors pretending to be someone else. Fiction is okay by me. I don't object in the least to reading a supposedly true account of the Civil War, or an interplanetary journey, or a biography told in the first person. I like being swept up in a detailed fantasy of romance, or daring, or heartbreaking drama -- as long as it's in print. Maybe this is because I am never fooled by the format. I don't lose track of what's real and what's not the way I do in a movie theater.
Which is an interesting thought. Maybe this whole objection to pretending is based on my own dread of losing my grip on reality. I don't think I'm in danger of going cuckoo, but I have always been secretly worried by the notion of consensus reality. In the back of my mind, that repository of old, unexamined notions, I fear that if I let my attention wander the world might shimmer and crack.
Let's not even talk about what I think happens after death.
So in fact I rather admire those who wear their piercings and handkerchiefs on one side or the other with purpose. They're not pretending to be other than who they are, but you can't really go around working in your sexual preferences into every conversation even if the topic is sex. Instead, they let a symbol do the talking. They wave their freak flag high. The information is available to anyone who is looking for it. They're not trying to fool anyone.
I find that oddly comforting.
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