Oh lord. Oh no. It's a monster lecture room. I hate these. This one's really odd, though. Hal, can you hear me? What the heck kind of seat is this? It's a time travel capsule from 1967, maybe earlier. Wow, uncomfortable formed plastic chairs with zero back support plus they swivel on weird bars out from under the gigantic room-length curved table. Who designed this? I feel like I ought to be wearing a sheepskin coat and flared, striped trousers with Beatle boots. At least people are sitting at every other one. I can put my feet up. Of course, from here I can't see the blackboard.

The professor looks eerily like a friend of mine. What? What did he just say? No P.A. system tonight, lovely. Roll call. He's just asked if Lucy Hunsucker is in the room. That's a first. We're getting that straight right now, thank you. Okay, at least 10 of the 45 people who signed up for this class aren't here. Good. 35 isn't bad. Oh. 10 others want to add the class. Well, still. This place probably holds 80. It's not as bad as some of the lecture halls at the University of Washington. Those held 200. I never did see my Psychology professor clearly.

Holy guacamole, this is one heck of a syllabus. Two quizzes, a midterm, a final, a book report, books to be selected from a list of his choosing, yuck, an essay on the ethnic group of my choice, fine, and...ah. Of course. I might have known. A gigantic project on the California Missions. Steve, buddy, got any sugar cubes left?

Jesus Christ, I have something due every other week for the next 18 weeks? This guy had better be a good lecturer. I think he has a sense of humor. Yes, definitely; he just made a joke about North Dakota. Good, then he won't mind that I can't write a serious paper to save my life. I think I'm the only Caucasian in this class. Should be interesting. Lots of Chinese, Pilippino, Hispanic, and -- oh wait, there's a blonde. There's another. Oh, I see, the surfers from Pacifica are all hanging around the back of the hall together. Duuuuuude.

Break time! Bookstore! Yay used copy for Rolle, boo no used copy for the other, more expensive book. $65 for History 240, egads. Let's have a look at CAOT 410/411. What? No! I am not buying my Photoshop class books here. $105 for two books? Totally not happening. Maybe John can get them at Stanford and use his staff discount. Tcha! Take that, WHCC. In fact, hurry up and take my money for History, break's almost over.

Argh. This guy's talking to everyone as though they were 18 and clueless. Hope he gets over that soon. Yes, yes, some of us have traveled outside California. Probably even the 18 year olds, Professor Badbeard. Ooh, ooh, I know the answer to this one! Genealogy is the number one hobby in the U.S.. Why do we study history? Because the school board makes us. I know that's not the right answer, but geez. Okay, finally he's making sense now. Giving us some information. A little writing on the board.

Maybe this will be okay. The class might be better next time when he actually lectures instead of going over the syllabus in excrutiating detail. Man, how many ways can he say no extra credit is given for any reason? Back hurts. Brain tired. Wanna go home.

Class is over! Semester's begun! Only 17 more weeks of history to go. Better get going on that Mission project. Maybe I can do an interpretive dance of the enslavement of the local Native Americans by the Spanish missionaries as part of my project. Or write a song about it and record it to go with my multimedia presentation on the land grab by the Catholic Church. Or take Polaroids of the Ohlone Mission in Fremont and draw ghostly spirits haunting it as the chemicals develop. I need to do something to get his attention in a class this big.

Where I grew up, we learned about the potlatch, and the importance of the seal and the whale, and made totem poles out of papier mache for our Pacific Northwest history class. I used to be a bit disappointed that the locals were so boring. All they did was fish, dig for clams, exchange presents, eat magic mushrooms, hang out in the longhouses when it rained which it did pretty much all the time, and die of measles when the fur traders came. It will be a much bigger story to put together the history of ethnic groups in California. I have a feeling the professor is going to be as subversive as possible while still maintaining his faculty position.

This course has real possibilities. I think I'm going to like it.

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